Detroit Metal City Episode 02: Real Legend / Satan

This show just keeps getting better and better, I swear…

krauser-sitting-on-the-pig

Negishi does a private concert and gets a swift kick in the nuts for not abusing the Bitch Pig of Capitalism enough. What are you doing, Negishi? The Bitch Pig is there for a reason, goddam it.

negishi kick to the nuts

Crunch! That’s the sound of the transition from man to boy… and from boy to homoerotic lesbian. Allow the boss lady to show you how it’s done.

this-is-how-ya-do-it

“Ouw ouw ouw ouw ouw ouw ouw ouw owu ouw ouw” like rapid fire. After the lesson, we find Negishi ricing it up at the local park, practicing his gay pop music, with his acoustic guitar.

Meanwhile, a few of DMC’s hardcore fans are having their own small rock concert — also at the park. You know you’re popular when you’ve got a bunch of crazy fools pretending to be you. At this point, we see (and hear) one of the greatest things in the history of man:

rape

That’s ten rapes in one second bish! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! If you have no other reason to watch this episode (besides the fact that it’s fukn cool) then watch it JUST for this scene. You won’t be disappointed.

So, later on, we see the members of DMC going on a group date with Negishi’s fine friend from college and two of her friends. This is where things get even more awesome.

dmc the girls

So Negishi meets up with the ladies first. Shortly after, his two bandmates, Wada and Nishida show up, dressed to impress.

wada and nishida

Yeah that’s right. Tuck your sweater into your pants when you go out on a date. That’s what’s up, people. I give anyone mad props if they pull this off, whether or NOT you get the girl. You’ll gain my respect, and that’s just so much more worth it anyways! Meanwhile, Wada’s dressed pimpin fresh. That shirt with the two roses on it — whew! Gotta get one of those for myself!

So, later we find the group at a karaoke bar, drinkin’ it up and singing and all that good stuff. You know, going out to these social-type deals is where a guy really shows his character. Whether you’re there to impress the fine ladies to get that entry or if you’re just there to be yourself and relax, you gotta let people know what you’re about. You know what they say, first impressions are everything.

nishida advice weiner

Nishida-kun knows exactly what I’m talking about. It’s only polite to give a girl advice on eating weiners on the first date. Because, then she’ll know how to… to…

Oh Nishida, you feind. I see what you did there. Nice move, playa’.

negishi drunk

Meanwhile, Negishi is getting hammered off of a single drink, until finally the demon comes out. Is this how you play King’s Cup?? Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape!

negishi kings cup

Number five, give number three a facial! Number two, eat the facial while you launch turd rockets at number four! Number four, put your drink in your butt! You tell ’em Negishi!… I mean… Krauser-san… err Negishi… Krauser…

In the midst of playing King’s Cup, Aikawa tries to calm down the beast. Big mistake… big mistake…

dont touch me trash cunt

The King does not allow skin contact with peasants, or in this case, trash-cunts. Let this be a lesson to all you out there. If you feel a trash-cunt touch you at the karaoke bar, you ought to put them in their place. After disciplining Aikawa-san, Krauser/Negishi promptly launches the spit-of-superiority at her cheek.

And then…

negishi barf

Don’t worry. He’ll be fine… That’s nice of Yuri-chan. Until next time, number five, give number three a facial! Good day!

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