Bleach: Episode 285

Three things basically happened: 1). Mashiro was punched in the face by Wonderweiss, 2). Hiyori got snipered by Gin, and 3). Rukia, Sado, and Renji were getting their scrotums (and vajayjay) handed to them by that big bish Yammy Rialgo.

I swear, I watched this episode like three times on three separate occasions, and it was kind of like ehhhh… okay…

So, at first, Mashiro Kuna is there in her awesome tight outfit, slapping the turds out of Wonderweiss. When her mask breaks, we see Wonderweiss really lay it onto her in true domestic violence fashion. Brutal!

Kensei kinda comes to her rescue (after she’s already beat up) and proceeds to kick Wonderweiss’ illiterate ass.

Gotta <3 the reverse side

My boy Wonderweiss going in for dat ass.

He loves it!

Butt Mashiro-chan, she doest not love it…

Mashiro’s mask breaks for no reason. 15-hour time limit? Lies! You know what that means…

Time to snowball.

But first, Wonderweiss releases his “swift domestic abusing” punch!

Wonderweiss welcomes you to equality for women.

… Yeah… basically…

Now he’s got to deal with Kensei and his Tekken Tachikaze (Anus Blowout:Fisting)

Meanwhile, Hiyori Sarugaki aka young moron goes in for the kill against Aizen, but instead gets the long-range shaft from Ichimaru Gin’s Shinso, or “telescoping wang.” And it’s like… man Gin you bastard!

You could have at least let Hiyori fight a little bit before blasting her with your cheater zanpakuto!

My balls

No comment…

Interesting… MY guts are all black now from twenty or so years of Cocoa Puffs and Mexican food.

Sephiroth has nothing on Gin and his extending meat chopper.

HACKS! AUTOAIM! Admin, pls kick, Gin is haxing!

So then, Hiyori drops to the ground as Hirako Shinji races to help her. The whole time, they were focusing on his homoseksual tongue ring; I don’t know why.

But just wait, the next anime convention you go to, you’ll probably see a bunch of Captain Hirako cosplayers with the weird tongue ring.

It is early this month. Aw man, your shoes…

While Hiyori is down, Shinji looks to Hachigen Ushoda and is like, “Okay heal her! Heal her right awa…” And then he notices that Hachi is missing one of his hands, so he can’t really do anything. Pretty-much all of Hachi’s abilities start with him clapping his hands together. Butt… what’s the sound of one hand clapping? LoL … splat.

Realizing this, he remembers that there’s another person who could heal Hiyori, and that’s Orihime! Now, it is time to yell Ichigo’s name out into the sky. Perhaps he will hear you from Las Noches, and he’ll bring Inoue with him! Hang tight, Hiyori!

Ohh nyoo… Hiyori… 🙁

Inoue just caught a wild pokeman!

Jakes on you, Shinji. Ichigo was already on his way over. All that yelling into the air just made you look like a n00b.

In other news, Rukia, Sado, and Renji are getting their asses beat by Yammy. The guy has transformed into a giant brown centipede with a hundred asses, and he’s just swatting the group down like fruit flies. Har!

Probably seeing who is more brown.

Hmmm… one of my 100 asses is itchy. But … which one??

Guh! This escape path smells like refried beans!

The path of 100 asses is not for the faint of heart!

I can’t wait to see what happens in the next episode. Maybe Yammy will evolve into a longer centipede with 1000 asses. Guess we’ll have to just wait and see.

This episode was made possible thanks to the guys (and maybe gals?) at SGKK Fansubs. Thanks! And here’s the torrent!

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